From the depths of the Nexus dungeon, the Weatherhuman warns all ye who bike here: stay on your side of the roundabout or face the CREATURE OF ABYSMAL CONSEQUENCES AND SHIN INJURIES. The ‘human will find you. The ‘human will make you stay on your side of the roundabout. And if you walk in the [...]
The Weatherhuman doesn’t really understand why every coffee shop in IV has decided to hold atrociously inconvenient summer hours. Ze isn’t much of a coffee drinker in the first place, but if a ‘human wants a goddamn frothy strawberry drink at 8:30p.m. you better not make hir buy that shit in a little glass bottle [...]
The Harry Potter release is making Thursday night at midnight quite magical. (Or is that Friday morning at midnight?)
According to Urban Dictionary, Toot it and Boot it can mean two things:
How to tell you’re a freshman…
I’d like to preface your sojourn at the University of California, Santa Barbara with nine words that will best summarize your college experience: you think you know, but you have no idea.
The Weatherhuman is one more trip to the Study Hall away from a 50 Club membership. Now, is that a triumph or a sign of alcoholism? Either way, my extensive amount of bar tabs tends to speak to the latter. Barkeep? Another pitcher please. That essay I have due next week can wait. Tomorrow’s Forecast: [...]
What is God’s greatest gift to man? (You know, other than the fact that He doesn’t exist?) The Hide Feed option on Facebook.
Not even the Razzies can give Sandra Bullock a break
these days.
So… IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! Good ol’ 4/20.
Respectable criminals have all but disappeared.
Week 3: Shit gets tough. You’re sleeping less, working more, playing Assassinate the Professor in your head too much… what’s a poor Gaucho to do?
What does the name Steven Seagal bring to mind? B-list actor? Made-for-TV movies? Unrealistic portrayals of a butt-ugly man getting laid by every hot chick straight-to-VHS movies can come up with?
Well, it’s that time of year, when all those obnoxiously overachieving folk vying for your vote on GOLD are full-on soliciting for your attention via posters, flyers and pure, face-to-face harassment.
“Mean Girls,” based on the 2004 Lindsay Lohan movie. And what do they do? They leave Lindsay Lohan out of the cover art.