There is a point in some hikes when doubt creeps in and you question whether you are on the right trail or not. When you choose a path at a fork in the road, sometimes a premonition will creep in and, if it is strong enough, convince you to take the other route. It’s a similar sensation to the itchiness that comes upon the upper lip just before taking a sip of whiskey. It’s as if you inherently know what is likely to happen. However, this isn’t always the case.

Sometimes you fail to take the right path and are forced to rely on your bearings to navigate home. Sometimes you end up on a road four miles from your car and have to run back because the sun is setting. Sometimes you’re Liam Neeson, lost and fighting off a pack of wolves in the Alaskan wilderness. Let’s hope that last one isn’t the case. It took me three times to successfully navigate this week’s trail, but this set of directions will allow you to do it in one.

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In the vast majority of cases, if you talk religion with friends or family, all you will likely accomplish is hurt feelings. Most people don’t want their beliefs challenged on any topic that matters to them. However, every friendship and every set of circumstances is different, so we will assume some set of unusual circumstances. For instance, suppose your friend has an extraordinarily even temperament or initiated the discussion of his or her own volition and seems earnestly to want to understand your position. Alternatively, you might believe that your friend might be suffering as a result of their religious beliefs. Perhaps the cognitive dissonance of believing that their “father” both 1) loves them and 2) is willing to burn their flesh for eternity (if they think bad thoughts) is eating away at their brain. Or perhaps they are a gay Muslim, a black Mormon or a female theist of nearly any kind. Firstly, make sure they know what “agnostic atheist” really means. Also, make sure you do. Secondly, when you begin, you will automatically want to put forward an affirmative position, because that is how one usually argues. But agnostic atheism is an inherently negative position. Embrace that! It recognizes where the burden of proof lies, and demands evidence to back up claims. That’s all. So instead of attacking, acknowledge your negative role and simply answer your friend’s queries, being unafraid to answer, “I don’t know.” If you don’t feel comfortable with citing extensive paleontological evidence, don’t try to argue that dinosaurs existed, even though you know they did. You can’t be expected to explain the whole universe.

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“You look better with the lights off” — admittedly, the catchy chorus of this terrible pop song is not the most lyrically tasteful, but it may be sending just the message I’m trying to deliver. While some may argue that turning the lights off in the bedroom is an act of intimacy, I think there’s another implicit message in the lyrics — one that relates to the environmental impact of our obsession with energy. Sure, we’ve all heard the spiel from our parents to turn the lights off when we leave a room, but what is the real significance of that action?

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As a teacher at West Charlotte High School in Charlotte, North Carolina, I taught an incredibly talented, intelligent group of ninth graders. But when they entered my classroom on the first day of school, they were, on average, reading at a fifth-grade level. Of the 2,000 students at West Charlotte High — almost all of whom who were African American and facing the additional challenges that come along with growing up in poverty — more than half were freshman because so many had been held back. Just down the road, less than 10 miles away, was one of the highest performing schools in the state, where students saw college as the inevitable next step after graduation. For most of my students, college was a luxury they had never considered.

As an undergrad at UCSB, I was very involved in the effort to expand access to the UC system for low-income students. As a first-generation college student myself, I felt strongly that affordability should never be an impediment to college attainment. But when I joined the community at West Charlotte High School, I discovered that college access is more than affordability. College access also requires college readiness built through an education that prepares students for the rigors of college-level work. My students were being shortchanged by a system that wasn’t giving them the kind of education that would put them on a path to and through college.

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Watching the Super Bowl for girls is like watching the WNBA … for anyone. We hate it, we really do. But we’d never tell you that. In fact, we spend our entire Super Bowl Sunday attempting to show you how much we like totes magotes know about football. This is the one day a year that guys can get their revenge for girls constantly dragging them to rom-coms (sometimes even minus the com) and ballets, and how do we thank them? By overly pretending to care about football … but ya know, in that cute, slutty, endearing way.

Because we’re not about to drop $50 on a jersey, we shamelessly pull out any football attire we have, of any size, and wear it … as a dress. The next thing you know we’re buying squares and cheering at all of the wrong times. We are committed as hell to impressing you, but it always backfires. The casual comments we think make us look super smart and engaged actually are incredibly wrong.

“I’m rooting for Peyton Manning. For sure. He’s my fave. Tom Brady is so sexy, and he just doesn’t ever get helmet hair somehow, but he’s married to Gisele, and I hear she’s a bitch.”

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Let’s be real. Everybody loves sleep. That isn’t our problem. Our problem is the difficulty of having a structurally sound and solid sleeping pattern. Sleep is a vital ingredient to winning at college, and just like the neglected benefits of having great nutrition, it importance is widely ignored on college campuses across the U.S.

Sleeping well is a skill (but not the kind of skill like, “Dude, I slept in until 2 p.m. on Sunday”) — it’s important for restoration and growth of muscle tissue as well as reinforcing connections within the brain. That’s right — sleep will help your memory. This is why it’s better to get rest before a test than to freak out and pull an all-nighter (unless you haven’t yet learned anything at all). However, it’s sometimes difficult to get a good night’s sleep. Noisy roommates, staying up late, getting up early, caffeine and even alcohol can make your sleep less healthy.

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It’s a natural instinct to trust people. And I don’t mean the Kaa staring into Mowgli with those googly eyes singing, “Trusssst in me … ” kind of trust. Frankly, as a kid, that just freaked me out. I’m talking about the everyday person-to-person contact we have where we just talk to each other. Whether it’s talking about how we spent the whole weekend washing the car or how the Bears should have made it to the Super Bowl, we are generally being honest. But sure, we embellish a little — maybe even exaggerate the unrealistic possibilities.

In my job, I talk to people all of the time. I like talking to people almost as much as I like turtles, but I digress. When I’m having a conversation, my natural instinct is to believe the person, because I’d like to think people are generally honest. So when they explain to me that they ran that red light because the sun was in their eyes, I want to accept that as an honest mistake. Maybe it’s the fact it’s 11 p.m. and raining that raises some minor concerns with their excuse, but they could have been talking about another red light they ran earlier today … People wouldn’t lie, would they?

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The Isla Vista Beachfront at sunset is tantalizing, but do not be fooled! When the sun goes down, the trouble begins. When your mother said “nothing good happens after 12 A.M.” she was right! Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Better yet, do you know anyone who has ever had something stolen from them? You most likely answered yes to one of these questions. IV is number one in acts of property crime in the entire nation according to 2011 FBI statistics.  For example, bicycle theft in I.V. and on campus is considered an ‘epidemic.’ Bikes are known to be stolen, even when locked up, by removing the wheel or cutting the lock that holds them.

In case you did not know, Theft is the illegal taking of another person’s property without that person’s permission or consent. It can also be referred to for some crimes against property, such as burglary, embezzlement, larceny, looting, robbery, shoplifting and fraud.

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Valentine’s Day isn’t just for romantic relationships. Community Housing Office (CHO) is going to take this time to address some of those other wonderful relationships in your life- your friends!

Does Best Friend = Best Roommate?

You know your best friend’s heartbreaks and crushes, most embarrassing Isla Vista moments, wild career aspirations, favorite midnight munchies, and wishes of travel. What you may not know is that your best friend occasionally pays rent a few days late, doesn’t know how to use a vacuum cleaner, listens to loud music until 3am, sleeps until 3pm, and can live comfortably in what others could simply call a “pig sty.” Whether you live with your best friend or are considering it for next year, keep reading for some helpful tips from Community Housing Office.

Living together is a much different story than hanging out together a lot. It is easy to get sick of your best friend when the fun little quirks he/she possesses that drew you to them in the first place might drive you crazy after 24/7 together. Also, best friends don’t try as hard to get along since they are already comfortable with each other and may become complacent about things Your friend relationship is about wanting to do stuff together, not having to do stuff together like cleaning, bill paying, and guests.

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I’d like to express my heartfelt thanks to Nicholas Winger, Nico Cervantes and the unidentified others who came to my aid when I crashed my bicycle during my (successful) attempt to avoid impact with a vehicle driven by someone who apparently did not notice a cyclist in the bike lane.

I’m grateful beyond words to live in a community where people care, and I’m also glad to be alive. Several onlookers shared with me the opinion that the driver of the vehicle simply failed to see me, even though it was a clear, sunny Santa Barbara afternoon. If by any chance you are the person who was heading south on Patterson Avenue a little after 3 p.m. on Jan. 31 and turned right onto Overpass Road, I’d like to talk with you. And for everyone: Cyclists help keep the price of gasoline low, we share the road with you and we are your friends. Please be ours.

I enjoy the crude humor and candid tone of the Wednesday Hump just as much as any Gaucho. However, what strikes me most about this column is its sense of exclusivity. It’s about one thing and one thing only: heterosexuals. Heterosexual intercourse is literally only the half of sexuality. How can a column that prides itself on innovative sexual topics focus so largely on only one aspect of the trade? It is discouraging as a queer person to be continually overlooked, week after week, quarter after quarter. Granted, Elizabeth Brooks may or may not lack experience in this field, but there sure as hell are thousands of other Gauchos who could speak to homosexuality in the bedroom today. I don’t mean to degrade Brooks in any manner — she is very witty and comical in all of her publications. However, it would appear that the column has no acknowledgement or respect for homosexuality. The Nexus has never been one to ignore taboo topics. What are we so afraid of? People being “disgusted” by seeing gay sex in the Nexus? This type of bigotry and small-mindedness is hypocritical. Gay people read the vivid (yet still interesting) details of heterosexual eroticism … so why can’t the same depth be seen for homosexuals? The gay community has always struggled with visibility, and the heteronormative agenda of the Wednesday Hump continues to put us in the shadows of sexuality. I thank Brooks for all the insight she has endowed on readers each week, and I now challenge her to tackle a topic often overlooked: homosexuality. Again, it is a column I enjoy thumbing through each Wednesday, and my only wish is that it be more open to engaging a larger population of the student body.

Two weeks ago, the New York Times published a report entitled “How the U.S. Lost Out on iPhone Work,” detailing how Apple went from manufacturing most of its products in the United States in 2002 to today, where virtually all manufacturing is done abroad, especially in China. The piece provides an in-depth look at the Apple supply chain and demonstrates how “‘Made in the U.S.A.’ is no longer a viable option” for many companies looking to compete in a globalized market.

Today, Apple employs a mere 43,000 people in the United States, and most of those jobs are in business and sales operations. Your iPhone is designed, marketed and sold here in the U.S., but the actual manufacturing and assembly of the device is contracted out to other companies, most of which are foreign. The biggest of these Apple contractors is Foxconn, a Chinese company that manufactures 40 percent of all electronic devices in the world and employs 1.2 million people! To put that into perspective, Foxconn’s army of workers is twice as big as the United States Army (560,000 active personnel). Foxconn employees work 12-hour shifts, over 25 percent live in company-owned dormitories adjacent to the factories and many are paid less than $17 a day.

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If you ask Rick Santorum he’d say no, because Christianity is the only true way a human should live — there is no “good alternative” to the truth. And if you ask a devout Buddhist which is better, Eastern or Western, he’ll affirm his own faith, because karma is manifest in all our actions, and this life we have is one of many, for our true purpose is to attain enlightenment, a feat accomplished only after many lifetimes—reincarnation, then, is a real phenomenon. But if you were to ask me, an atheist, I would have to answer under the presumption that neither shows us the one true way to live. But if I think neither religion is “true”, on what basis could I say one is “better” than the other?

One way is to point out the sort of practices each endorses, because beliefs and actions have direct consequences for our psychological well-being. In Christianity we are commanded to love, and also to fear, a being who—without justification—may torture us as he pleases. We are told to pray, to worship, to beg for forgiveness, and to imagine ourselves as being constantly watched, judged, and scrutinized. Buddhism, however, seems to stress not much else but mental discipline. It’s a very difficult, particular way of life to be sure—but there’s no coercion, no threat by some eternal Father. Buddhism is a doctrine more of invitation rather than obligation—of choice, rather than compulsion. The Buddha merely offers a way to live; God, however, demands that you live “His” way.

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“Shit Girls Say” started an epidemic. I just watched “Shit People Say About Shit People Say Videos” for a solid minute and 39 seconds; yeah, it’s gotten to that point. But you know what they don’t have? A “Shit Guys and Girls Say During or After Hookups That Just Really, Really Should Not Be Happening.” These are a few that need to stop:

1. The Unprovoked “What?”: God, classic. You’re sprawled out in bed, it’s 7 a.m. and the I.V. construction workers can blatantly see you in the buff through the window. He checks his watch, because, yes, he kept it on throughout the sex. The girl is awake first, as she always is, and just pretending to be asleep (fact). And then, shoot, you’re both awake and you both know it and no one’s talking … so, out of nowhere, the girl looks over and says “Whaaaat?” and the guy all of a sudden remembers why he doesn’t ever want a girlfriend, ever, and responds with, “Nothing.” Nothing, bitch. Nothing. You need to chill out. Nothing. The “what” is a recurring issue. Just stop asking, because, really, has it ever worked? Never has he turned and said, “Actually, you know, I have just been waiting for someone to ask me that. This is what is going on in my hea- Wait! Actually, can I just like have your number to chat? Just to cuddle for half an hour and then walk you home while concealing my boner?”

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Last Friday started off great. After waking up at 8 a.m. to no alarm on a clear, sunny day, I threw on some workout clothes, grabbed my bike and headed out the door toward the Rec Cen. A typical ride through I.V. with few people around, considering most are either asleep or in class at 8:15 a.m. on weekdays. Not much for a cop to do right about now, you’d think.

Aside: If you saw sense in the previous statement, I want you to go find a mirror, look into it and slap that naivety off your face. Do it. Right now. Remember the grimace you make at that point in time, and let it be a reminder to never allow such ignorance back into your head.

As I reached the end of El Colegio Road, I turned left at the crosswalk, about to make a right across Stadium Road. I rode around the bike loop at a good pace and turned toward campus. I looked left, right and left again just as is instructed in both driver’s ed and motorcycle safety courses. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a blue uniform, but it was too late; my front tire was only a matter of inches from the stop sign, and I passed it without having a chance to brake. Knowing there was no way he could have missed my mistake, I rode over to the cop where he stopped me on the side of the bike path.

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