Do you want the good news or the bad news? The bad news is that this weekend, our favorite mini non-city is going to be crawling with people who don’t belong here and who make me very, very uncomfortable, namely: parents. The good news is that it’s only one weekend, and many of you will be swimming in free, delicious meals for a change. I’m a little jealous but then again, the ‘human has no parents. Or I didn’t invite them. Either way, the weather household will not be in attendance and I’m going to celebrate the only way I know how.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: The human writes geared toward his new audience: conservative, readily-offended parents with innocent, virgin children. Oh yes, stay tuned.