So, Halloween weekend is upon us, and I know who the Weatherhuman is going to haunt. I, the ‘human, have forsaken my dignity to do a favor—yes, favor—for an unnamed person under the premise of “needing sleep.” But this UCSB student forgot that the ‘human is all-seeing, and the drunken revelry that they partake in is not going to bode well when karma comes around. And yes, this karma may come in the form of a machete. Or at least a small line of questioning from IVFP as to why they went missing. Fuck Twilight-induced kiddies “pretend” biting their friends’ necks. It’s time for real action.

Tomorrow’s forecast: Blood rains down on Isla Vista. Happy Halloween!