You know what starts tonight. I’m not going to lecture you; I’m in no position. As it is, my plan is to turn in my scantrons, throw on whatever hat I find in the back of the closet and get immediately, indecently hammered. I’m not even close to being cool enough to be “over it,” I just haven’t had time to get excited, what with midterms eating my soul for breakfast. That’s where you come in. I’ll be there, you’ll be there: please put on a good show. Do what you choose, but do it to an obscene extreme. I’m talking outright offensive. Show the out-of-towners who can hang. But please, please don’t give the Foot Patrol ANY reason to mess with you. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Oh, and don’t step in pony poop.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: Isla Vista Halloween weekend 2009. You know the drill.