Troy Revisted; parties are fun
A.S. has really done it this time. The University of California’s credit rating has now dropped below even the state of California’s – lower than any individual UCSB student.
Spring football: a Spring in their step
While the baseball season hits its stretch-drive just down the street, the scent of pigskin can be detected in the air. The daunting UCSB football team dusts off antiquated equipment and laces up cleats as spring practice begins at Harder Stadium.
IV goes dry
Isla Vista residents gather on Sabado Tarde to attempt a Friday night party. The booze ban led to binge-studying and utter academic mayhem.
Government To Study Sex Lives of Snowy Plover
Following several petitions and a lawsuit, the United States Fish and Wildlife Service said last week it would re-examine the status of the western snowy plover population – paying special attention the birds’ sex lives.
Bite of the Angry Koala
We at The Koala hope this column will serve as a reminder to the Joel Galsters of the world that if you are an oblivious idiot, maybe you should consider whether 15 seconds of research and 10 seconds of thought might be appropriate before writing an opinion piece for a university newspaper.
Shake Time
On Correction days I like to point out things in the community that I feel need correcting. Isla Vista is ridiculously dry right now, and I’m not talking about lack of rain.
Baseball: Wilkerson Powers UCSB to Big Win
Over the past week, it has seemed as if Santa Barbara (17-10) hasn’t been playing fairly, bringing whole sheets of aluminum up to hit against pitchers who are lobbing volleyballs.
The Thursday Corset
It has come to my attention that a significant number of my peers are fornicating premaritally. Upon discovering this, I was shocked and alarmed, and I wondered what foul design is influencing this behavior.
Baseball: A-Rod dealt to Santa Barbara
In an unprecedented deal, the New York Yankees dealt newly acquired third baseman Alex Rodriguez to UCSB for two 2005 first round, rule five draft picks and one player to be named later.
Man bites dog, makes news
In a stunning turn of events, Santa Barbara City Councilman Brian Barnwell returned to Alisos Street on Monday to seek revenge on the pit bull that caused minor lacerations to his buttocks in mid-February.